Saturday, October 30, 2004
Death is something that has eluded me for the longest time. After all, aside from my paternal grandfather who passed away back when I was too young to even remember, we have had zero deaths in the family. We have always been mere guests at the wakes and funerals we have attended.
That is, until May of this year.
My father passed away just last May. It feels wierd writing it down for the first time... it's like finally accepting it after five months. In some ways, it seems like only yesterday when I was writing down my eulogy for him, and in other ways, it all feels like a very distant, hazy memory. It is actually refreshing to even think about it without bursting into tears and having the usual heavy feeling at the pit of my stomach.
***
About two weeks ago during our training, we had someone talk about death, or more specifically, near-death experiences. Its significance to the whole training program, I am still trying to figure out, but that particular session hit me hard. The speaker mentioned that just before death, all pain is lifted from the body, and that they seem to float inside a tunnel towards a white light. Some souls choose to go back, but some just keep on going into the light. I am not exactly superstitious, and the entire near-death experience concept is actually crap to me, but that particular piece of information was somewhat comforting. One thing that has haunted me about my father's death is the thought of how much he must have suffered before going flatlined, and all of this happening without me there to even just hold his hand.
***
This is the first All Soul's Day that we actually have dead family to go visit, and his gravesite is at the other end of the archipelago. While everyone else will be hung-over and having post Holloween party headaches, I will be spending it with what is left of my family.
I miss him, but I am happy that he is in a much better place. God bless his soul.
Monday, October 25, 2004
My officemates and I spent practically the whole afternoon taking a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about the time when our lives revolved around breakfast and TV. If you were a kid in the 80's, these photos would definitely strike a chord.
Our jaws hurt so much from laughing. Needless to say, we had a very unproductive afternoon.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Thank god for girlfriends who share in your pain. That and Ben-Gay.
Friday, October 15, 2004
I don't particularly like trainings. Just the thought of being stuck in a classroom for days and days, being at the mercy of a trainor and forced to get along with people you don't exactly know is not extremely appealing to me. Although I do appreciate diversity in personalities, there is something in this type of setting that somewhat irks me. I've gone through enough trainings to brace myself and more or less know what to expect...
1. There will always be a control freak who will appoint himself as the group's leader in every possible opportunity. He will have no qualms whatsoever about bossing people around, and should anyone question his divine proclamation, be prepared to justify your existence in this world. Of course, I am exaggerating, but I know you get my point.
2. Person #1 will always have a groupie. This person will never question anything he says, and will always be spotted at a maximum of a 2-meter radius from his master, usually just nodding all the time.
3. There will always be an attention-deprived "nuisance participant" who will crack the lamest jokes even at the most inappopriate times. Although this person is indeed witty and may usually be the source of creative output, getting the group into trouble is second nature to him as a result of his motor mouth. Acceptance and approval is a main concern, and he may take it personally when he sees that you aren't amused anymore. His groupie is optional.
4. No matter how good your trainor is, there will always be a person who will not get it.
Of course, what makes this all worthwhile (aside from the additional bullet point in your resume) are the few great people you make friends with along the way. True, you will have to harmoniously co-exist with such people your whole life, and there is no escaping them. Ultimately, what I think is important is keeping the friends you have, and doing the best job you can.
Besides, only a week to go before I'm done with training, so I'll suck it up until then.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Here I am, home alone, sitting in front of my PC.
Suddenly, I feel the ground moving beneath me.
Earthquake!
My body is immobile. My feet are rooted to the ground and unable to move. I hold my breath, praying hard that I don't have to dash downstairs in my sleepwear.
And just as quickly as it started, it stops.
As my brain springs back to lucidity, I wonder, "what the hell was I going to write about again?"
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Let us all welcome my sister to the blogging world! :)
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
To say that The Da Vinci Code is a "good book" is like saying that Einstein was a "pretty smart guy"... it is a horrendous understatement. If I were to be overly dramatic about it, I would call it a spine-tingling, hair-raising, brings-you-to-the-edge-of-your-seat kind of book, which will electrify all your senses.
This ingenious novel is about two strangers who find themselves brought together by a mysterious death inside the Louvre Museum in Paris. They end up in a dangerous game of cat and mouse, all the while trying to decipher clues, riddles and codes left behind by the murdered museum curator, which they believe will lead them to one of the most well-guarded and controversial historical secrets of all time. The web of symbology, art and history traps them, as the chase brings them from Paris to London, both desperately seeking long-awaited answers to lifelong questions.
What I enjoyed about this book was the pace of how the events unfolded. There are no dull moments in the whole story line, and you will find yourself lost in the pages while the heroes jump from scene to scene, dilema to dilema, discovery to discovery. The author's vast knowledge about the arts, history and symbols is fascinating, and at times, it will make you wonder about your own beliefs. I admit that had I read this book during the time when I wasn't secure and stable about my own faith, I would have been agnostic by now... but hey, that's just me.
All in all, The Da Vinci Code is my new favorite read, and I would give it a grade of 200%. Hats off to Dan Brown!
Note: If you have read the book, I recommend you visit Dan Brown's official website for more information on the artwork, history and concepts.
Friday, October 01, 2004
I remember back in high school, when my sister brought home a copy of Linda Goodman's Sun Signs for the first time. Linda Goodman is a well-known American astrologer, and her book Sun Signs deals with how the position of the heavenly bodies during the time of your birth have an effect and influence on your personality... in other words, this is the book version of your daily newspaper zodiac reading.
The first time I read my sign's description, I couldn't believe my eyes. This is SO me! Sentimental. Social. Born to lead. May be egotistical at times. It was like reading a copy of... me.
If this is an accurate description of what I am, then maybe this book is the key to understanding other people's personalities too! For years, this was my bible, always checking the signs of people I meet. I then found out why my Virgo friends are all perfectionists, and that Sagittarians are more often than not clumsy. Cancers are very crabby, people born under the sign of Aries tend to be very blunt, and that my most ideal love match would be a Libra. If someone interested or annoyed me, I would find out what his sign is and whip out Linda Goodman. It was like having a secret weapon... the satisfaction of knowing something others didn't.
A few years back, when I started my previous job, I met a very interesting fellow. What intrigued me the most about him was that we had the same sign, but we were somewhat opposites. I was the "typical" Leo... outgoing, very social, opinionated. He was the type who aften kept to himself, and was not flashy at all. He was soft-spoken, didn't like to go out and did not seem to relish in attention (not that I do. Haha.). Once more, I consulted Linda Goodman. Voila! There it was. There are two types of Leos; the extrovert and the introvert. They seem like total opposites, but they have one thing in common: pride. She was right again! Damn, she was good.
I wanted to show this book to my friend, so I brought it to work one day. When I showed it to him, he said, "Galeng ha, but you know what, I try not to read books like those. Kase they tend to box you up, and unconsciously, you start following what is written in the book." That was a very interesting point. I looked at the people who I knew were into the book as much as, and even more than I was... they were text book definitions of their signs, almost too perfectly fitting the description written in the book. Sometimes, they even made this an excuse for being the way they are... "You know naman I'm very emotional eh, kaya I will always react that way!" It was like having permission to act rudely, since your sign says that you are "very emotional" or "highly opinionated" by nature, and people should understand that. It was like a truism and it was unbreakable.
It got me thinking... how do you draw the line between being who you are and letting a zodiac sign define your being?
I stopped reading this book almost a year ago. Thinking about it right now amuses me, because I don't even totally remember what I am supposed to be according to Miss Goodman. It is very liberating, actually, considering the fact that I no longer stop myself from doing, saying or even thinking something that is presumed to be un-leo-like. Besides, I don't want people to be able to read about my sign in one chapter of a book and already know me inside-out. Where's the fun in that?
About the Author
I have quit trying to figure out the inner workings of God's mind. I have learned to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Piazza
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